Business battles with the other half
When starting my first business (six-years ago) there was one thing I didn’t expect and that was how my relationship with my husband would change.
All of a sudden he started to assume things.
Like how he thought I would have time to chuck some of his washing in the machine, or nip up to the shops and pick something up for him, or make him something for when he got home ‘since I was home working’
Yes, he even made the quotation marks with his fingers.
It made me want to slap the spit out of his mouth.
He didn’t understand that the days I worked without my daughter hanging off me were like gold dust.
We didn’t understand each other at all.
For at least the first two years of being a full-blown entrepreneur we were on completely different wave lengths.
I felt immense pressure to be contributing to the household finances, to deliver amazing results for my clients in the limited time I had and to keep on top of being a Mum, and I wanted to keep paddling towards my dreams and goals.
We had a lot of ‘those’ battles where we would fight about who does what, because who works ‘more’ and who has more on their plate. Who should look after the kids because the other needed to get something done.
There were lots of times I was not a good wifey and put my business before my husband.
He was pissed about it and I resented him for not giving me the support for my fails or the admiration I wanted for my wins.
We both went about things in all types of wrong ways. (Hindsight huh!)
Eventually, I stopped trying to get through to him and I just thought, I am the only one that needs to back myself.
It comes down to me.
We fumbled our way through it for a little longer and somewhere after my breakdown with PND which was activated by my intense self-pressure of trying to do it all whilst severely sleep deprived because my second baby did not sleep through the night until he was two something changed.
When I put myself back together, I stopped making work first.
I put me first.
A self-care plan was put into place.
Exercise, meditation, family time.
As it turned out, it made me a better mother, wife and business woman.
My husband changed too.
We finally found a middle ground and learned to appreciate each other again. To respect each others position.
He became more pro-active about supporting me when I needed time with my business and I became more pro-active with being a better and more attentive wifey.
These days he is my biggest supporter. He says he always was my biggest supporter and he probably was, just not in the way I thought I needed him to be.
But the truth is there is no one else I’d rather be on this crazy journey with, even if sometimes I wonder if he has an extra chromosome (as per pic)
We’ve stopped the blame game and acknowledge that we both work damn hard and give and take when it comes to family time and duties.
But it was not an easy process learning to understand each others needs. The shift from 9-5 to work at home mum shifted so much more than just work hours.
Having your husbands support can really be the make or break of your business, their support is invaluable but being stronger enough to keep going without it is just as important.
Believe without a doubt you can make everything work, you just need to find the right formula and you’ll find the balance required to juggle being a wife, mum and a seriously kick-ass business woman.
If I can do it, so can you.
GUEST AUTHOR: Natasha Stewart is the founder of Business Jump. Natasha helps other women start their online business so they can find the same freedom and profit she has found. Click here to download a list of Natasha’s favourite business tools and resources to help grow your business and join her mastermind Facebook group by clicking here.